What should I be when I grow up...

This is a question I've been pondering FOREVER (or so it seems).

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL: Artist and Scientist

HIGH SCHOOL: Artist/Art Historian/Scientist

COLLEGE: Artist/Scientist (then that was gone due to a bitch ass nun with a chip on her shoulder. She called me when I had the FLU and told me how I was being unfair to my lab partner and I was dumbfounded. I told her that "My lab partner is one of my best friends and she is well aware that I am sick. In fact, she is going to be leaving notes at my door this evening.". THE BITCH then said -yes, I still remember this- "Well, I saw you on campus walking around and laughing". I said "Sister, I left the confines of my dorm room so that I could get fresh air; food to eat from the cafeteria; my mail; meds for ear infection and happened to bump into a friend who thought I was dead.". The bitch did not apologize instead she said something ridiculous and hung up. I hated her actions and wonder what the hell flew up her ass.)/Due to the Chem teacher being a mega hose beast, I went into Communications

AFTER COLLEGE: Got stuck in the awful world of marketing, pr and advertising. Thought it would be super cool. Nope.

Tried to ESCAPE the heinousness of that world by taking Improv classes (FUN!!!!). Of course, I would merely do it as an escape and not something professionally because that takes an insane amount of talent and a very thick skin.

However, a Mary Kay woman actually helped me transform my world by bringing me back to having a dream. Such a sweet woman. This is when I jump started a bridal makeup artistry biz in 2001 and then went to Pivot Point International to become an esthetician (combining my love of SCIENCE and ART).

NOW: Ummmmm. I am a mommy. Best and most demanding job ever. However, I am longing for a career once my boys are both in school. GUH.

What will I be when I grow up?

SITTING is TRICKY

Benji is very proud of himself for sitting up.

Oh...losing balance.

Slowly falling...

Man down. I repeat BABY DOWN.

It was so precious. Only wish I had a camera on me other than my beloved i-Phone.

Who is Joelle?

I find that people have some wacked ass idea of who I am and I am here to set the record straight.

I :

1. do not talk 24/7. Silence is golden to me.

2. listen as well as I ramble.

3. do swear like a drunken sailor at times and no alcohol has been introduced to the picture.

4. love laughter. It makes my heart smile to make others laugh. There is so much angst in the world that it is nice to escape for awhile.

5. am sometimes quite shy. People either mistake this for being depressed or being a snob.

6. do suffer from depression but find happiness when I look into the eyes of my boys or hear the laughter of family and friends.

7. miss my mother immensely

8. can be a very strict disciplinarian.

9. am honest when I tell people "I'll pray for you" or "Do you need help". I am not one of those wankers that say stupid shit just to look good in the eyes of others. If you need help, call me. I love my friends and will do anything for them (well, almost anything).

10. wish everyone owned a pair of rose-colored glasses.

eh, the list can go on and on and on. But the point being made is that I am not a one-sided individual that is always goofy or rambling on for hours.

In conclusion, don't act like you know someone when you have barely scratched the surface. You have no clue what they have been through to shape them into the person they are today. You have no idea what pain they may have lying in their heart that can never go away.

Ps. Huge pet peeve. Do not tell a person who is depressed "CHEER UP!" Instead ask "Do you need a hug or do you need someone a friendly ear to bend?" CHEER UP is the dumbest fucking statement ever. Do you think that the individual wants to be sad? SERIOUSLY. Some individuals may have every reason to be happy but suffer from a chemical imbalance. So before you idiotically say to someone "You have every reason to be happy.", ask yourself if you truly know this individual inside and out.

Loving You is Easy Because Your Beautiful

I am not talking about myself (even though I love myself as a person, I know that there is always room for improvement). I am talking about my teeth-yellowing fabulous coffee maker by Keurig.

LOVE IT. LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT I WOULD MARRY IT...UM, BECAUSE I LOVE IT.

The object of my affection. Keurig Coffee Maker.

The first part of waking up is yummmmmilishus coffee. DECAF OF COURSE.

First sip is glorious.

Ahhh, ooppps the caffeine kicked in (thought it was decaf).

It's gone, really. That was fast.

My Lil Entertainer

HA HA HA...Josh is always making me laugh...and always testing my patience. After a particularly annoying LUNCH episode in which he refused to eat, I gave up and said "fine, you're done." and took his plate away. He whined "I want my carrots and applesauce still." Fine, whatever.

So Josh decided to act like his carrots were action figures. GO FIGURE. I said "We don't play with our food Josh.". He looked at me and chewed pathetically on the carrot.

Next thing ya know, Captain Jackass is at it again with the food. I said "ENOUGH". He then said "Mommy, where is the carrot?".

Me: In your hand because you have three on your plate so the fourth one is in your hand.

Josh: You're good mommy but try this...(this is when he takes the carrot in his hand and puts his hands behind his back and then whips out both hands in front of his face in a David Copperfield flamboyant way). Now which hand is it in.

Me: Your right (and I pointed to his right hand).

Josh: Wow, you're really good at this. Have you been practicing? Okay, try this. (Once again his hands go behind his back and out again). How about now?

Me: Your left (and I pointed to his left hand).

Josh (He gets a lil frazzled): Hmmm, okay how about now?

Me: Your right.

Josh: You're wrong because I have a carrot in both hands.

Me: Um, Josh, I am not wrong since I found a carrot and you did not ask me to find carrots.

Josh: OH!!! (This is when he picks up one carrot and puts both hands behind his back and then out again). Which hand now?

Me: Right.

Josh (puts his hands behind his back and then shows an empty right hand): Wrong, try again. (He puts both hands behind his back again and then out in front again).

Me: Left.

Josh (puts his hands behind his back and then shows an empty left hand): Ahhhhh HAAAA, you are wrong. Are you wondering how the carrot disappeared?

Me: No

Josh: MOMMY!

Me: Yes, Yes I am.

Josh: Well, let me show you how it is done (this is when he was showing me how the trick was done and how I could now show all my friends).

Josh: TA DAAAA!

Extremely Observant

My son, Josh, never ceases to amaze me.

We were watching two episodes of Scooby Doo with Batman, Robin, Joker and Penquin were in. Throughout each episode he would say something like "Mommy, why isn't Batman wearing his gloves now." I was like WHAT. He said "Rewind it." So, I rewinded the tape to find that in one frame Batman is wearing his gloves holding counterfeit money in the next frame a close-up of the counterfeit money, we see that Batman no longer has on his gloves. UMMMMMM...wow, that was observant. Later in the episode he said "Why is there one less button on the control panel?". I said "What are you talking about?". I rewinded the video again and sure enough a button was missing.

Heck, he even noticed that my husband got a new remote for the garage door since his old one wasn't working. His old remote had 3 buttons on it and was small. The new one has 1 button on it and is the same size. Josh asked him "What happened to the other buttons on your opener?". HOLY CRAP.

Sooooooooo, when Josh acts like he doesn't know where something is, I roll my eyes in disbelief. I'm like "Where did you last put it?". "Mommy, I put it on the kitchen counter but it is no longer there.". Sure enough, I moved his toy back into the toy area and forgot where I had put it. The boy noticed something out of place and said "Help me look mommy!". We found it in the area he thought looked recently messed up.

How can he have this freakish memory yet ............eh, I am floored at the mind of an almost FOUR year old.

He can be freakish one time and then he is back to being a typical lil kid. Yes, his vocab is also impressive...a blessing and a curse.

CANCER SUCKS

I am so sick of hearing about another child losing their life to cancer. It is not fair. I know this may sound evil but I wish they could remove the cancer entirely and put it into someone on death row.

I also hate how someone can be given a clean bill of health and then go into a diabetic coma AND THEN get out of it and have the idiotic hospital staff tell her that they will keep her over the weekend ANDDDDDDD THEN after much discomfort she tells them she is having problems breathing. Next, they take a series of x-rays and find a tumors (yes, plural). Her daughter calls the hospital and they tell her that they plan to get her mother stable so they can address the situation. When her daughter gets to the hospital she sees an x-ray in the ICU and thinks "NO NO NO NO NO, WHY DEAR GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?!?!?" without even being told that it is her mom's x-ray. She musters up the strength to be positive with her mom who is obviously scared and not ready to die. Sadly, even though the daughter is not a doctor...she knows the end is near because there is no way to attack a tumor that large. The daughter plans her mother's funeral (it was beautiful) while her mom fights. Within a week of her mom being told "You have cancer." Her beautiful mom dies. Never to meet the grandchildren she so desperately wanted. My heart has never healed from this devastating loss.

I've lost friends and family members to this awful disease and I have biopsy scars across my body. I wish a miracle could happen and there would be a magic wand to destroy cancer.

In summary, FUCK YOU CANCER!