JOSH is friggin' hilarious (well, to me)

My eldest chid is friggin hilarious. His quick-witted humor floors me.

CUT THE TALK

After playing with his superhero figures, we took a break for snack time. I asked Josh a question and he lifted his hand over his head and while cutting through the air with his hand he said "let's cut the talk and start the playing".

BOOTY WIPING

As some of you know, my goal is to have Josh wipe his own booty.

One time he came out of the bathroom with a toilet paper tail telling me that he was the Loch Ness monster (see pic above).

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Another time, he was wiping his but with a wet wipe and it got stuck. He started hopping around saying "look at me...i am a friggin bunny.".

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Another time he informed me of his bowel movement.
Josh: mommy, I can't wipe my butt.

Me: yes you can.

Josh: mommy, I pooed so much that I created a poo mountain in the toilet. If I wipe my butt, I'll get poo on them.

Me: Josh wipe your butt.
(After not hearing anything for a few minutes, I asked the dreaded question "What are you doing in there?")

Josh: I wiped my butt and got poo on my hands. So I washed them and had a bubble party.

(Flash to the scene of me walking to the bathroom seeing bubbles in the sink, on the floor, on the wall, on the towel and on my fruit loopy child).