Escape Artist Foiled!

Whoever said "Parenting is Easy!" was on crack, had a nanny, a personal chef (just for their picky eater), a maid and a mute button.

I feel incredibly blessed to have two beautiful boys and I KNOW it is only going to be more chaotic/fun to watch them grow up together.

My son, Josh is a whirling dervish of nonstop activity. Heck, he can't even sit still for his favorite movies or while playing his educational games on the computer. He is always moving. Sooooooooooooooooooo, here is the story that happened about a week ago.

Some peeps had come over to purchase a grill (from Craigslist - side note: They now claim the grill doesn't work and want their money back. Ummmm, it worked fine when we sold it to them...God only knows the stupidity it took for them to break it. BUT since I don't want to deal with head cases coming back to my casa, I mailed the woman a check for the grill and told her to scrap it herself. I have a strong feeling that the woman did not refill the tank on the grill and this is why it didn't work. She was probably too embarrassed to admit she did this but I DIGRESS since this is not the main purpose of this post.) in the evening.

I showed the peeps the grill and Josh decided to run into the garage to introduce himself (future Cruise Director...possibly). Well, it was cold and I told Josh to please finish dinner with Daddy and keep an eye on Ben for mommy.

The peeps decided they wanted the grill but needed help dismantling it. My hubby finished his meal and helped them do this and loaded it into their car. Well, the hubby ran back into the house and up the stairs for some unknown reason. Heck, I thought the deal was all done and began to breast feed Ben on the couch in the living room. Josh joined us in the living room with his superhero collection.

All the sudden a bug must have bitten his butt (not literally) and he bolted out of the room saying "I need to see if they need help.". I screamed at him that the people were gone and to come back. Well, in a split second, Josh unlocked the door and darted into the darkness of the outdoors.

I screamed for Chris (hubby) but he was MIA (guh). So, I promptly unlatched Ben (um, very unhappy baby) and placed him in his nearby car seat. Then I darted to the door to see Josh talking to the strangers near the car in the back of our house. I was like "WTF". THANK YOU LORD ABOVE for these strangers not being crazy serial killers. Then Josh ran into the street (IN THE DARK). I had to run after the a-hole child. Drag his ass in the house and screamed at him so loud that the neighbors in the next community probably heard me. He stomped his feet and told me that it was no big deal and that is when I put him in timeout and he said "NO!". This is when I should have walked away but I spanked his butt. Did you know what happened next? HE LAUGHED!! That's right. He laughed. I was livid.

Chris came downstairs (found out he was looking for instructions to take the damn grill apart- um) do see me literally fuming mad. I told him briefly that our idiot child bolted out the door into the street and what the fuck was he doing?

ANYWAY, Chris helped the Craigslisters while I began breastfeeding Ben again.

Long story short...the very next day we invested in some saucy latches that drill into the door frame. LOVE THEM and they only cost a mere $2.50. LOVE THEM.

Josh recently tried to get out because he wanted to blow bubbles and was thwarted. MUAH HA HA ... evil mommy.

I love my son and do not want him to get hurt. Josh and Ben are my reason for waking up each day. They are my sunshine and my rain.

It feels good to know that I can breastfeed Ben and not have to worry about my escape artist introducing himself to neighbors or taking a swim in an alligator filled lake.