My Son is Hilarious

Josh told me the other day "Mommy, Ben sharted in his pants.". Then later in the day my husband farts and he screams "Daddy, you better check to see if you sharted in your pants. Mommy has wipes.".
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Today, after being in an extended timeout for not listening and being a whirling dervish of destruction...Josh whipped out something that actually led to his freedom from timeout due to me laughing like a friggin' idiot.

Sooooo, the boy loves his super heroes. He is sitting in timeout talking about how he has to save people and lives are being lost because of him being in timeout. I ignore this but am hiding my amusement. Next thing you know the child presses on his left breast (as if there is a communication device there) and whispers "Superman, I am being held captive and can not help. Hold on, I found a cloaking device (yes, the kid is a freak vocabulary-wise) and may be able to get past mommy." Next thing that happens is that Josh takes a nearby blanket and jumps of the couch. I once again had to hide my amusement and tell him to get back on the couch or he will have a longer timeout. This time he is sitting there for two minutes and presses on his left breast again and says "Batman, tell Robin that I may have a plan to meet him at the bank. I've discovered that I can run super fast. So fast that mommy will not know that I am missing.". Within two seconds of spitting this out, Josh runs around the downstairs and hops back onto the couch. I am still holding onto the laughter until he says "Batman, she doesn't even know that I left the couch.". OMG, I laughed so damn hard that I almost wet myself. I told Josh that his timeout was over and he giggled with me.

I had to call my husband up to tell him the story because it was so damn funny.